I am sorry it's been so long since I last posted about the lives of the Davies. We are doing well and are busy with work and are finally settled in at our house. We love it here in Teton, and are glad we found such a great home to make ours :)
I want to give updates on our lives at the moment but feel that this post should really be about something I feel is very important.
As you all know, I shaved my head a couple of months ago to try to find myself and I have been learning a lot about myself in the process. I really miss my hair, and I have found that I still struggle with my self image. While shaving my head shifted my world it didn't remove all of the built in luggage racks of my soul where I have kept a lot of my negative thoughts and habits. I have realized it takes a lot to let such things go and that it may be a lifelong endeavor for me to truly leave such things behind. I have learned though that I am surrounded by the most incredible people who have totally loved and supported me beyond words. I think of how Ben has been on this journey with me every step of the way and my heart swells when I think of the love he gives me each day. I can't even begin to put into words the joy I have found with my husband and with my son. Finch never looked at me like I was scary or different without hair, but rather just as or more beautiful to him. I think he liked it because we had the same hairdo for a while ;)
So as my project shifts in many ways, I just want to thank you all for your support and say that it isn't over, but I've realized that I still have a lot of work to do and that I am learning new things about myself every day.
Part of what I have found has changed how I see myself the most though is realizing that I do matter to those around me, that I make a difference to my husband, my son, my cat, my family, my friends and peers, and that I am important to Heavenly Father as well. I tend to forget that I have someone who knows me better than anyone else in the world, ( in the universe ) and that He sees me for the incredible person I am today and who I have always been and who I can be. I know that there are those who wonder why I chose to stay at home to raise my son rather than work outside the home, and those who feel that I shouldn't put pressure on my husband to work and go to school while I am home. I've struggled many times with what I think others think of my choices, but I have learned that I don't care what others think, that I made these choices for my family, with input made and discussed with my husband, and with the inspiration of the Lord in it for what we should do and that while I may not be saving the world one patient at a time as a medical assistant or a doctor, I am shaping and changing the world of my family and that they need me and that I matter to them. I may not be able to do a lot but I know that my husband knows that I love and support him with everything I have in my heart, that I have a son who knows that I would do anything for him and that I love him, and that I have a God who knows I try every day to put aside my pride and my fears and that I try every day to be a better, kinder, more selfless person. The people who matter most to me are affected by me everyday and I do make a difference for them and that I am happy being who I have chosen to be, and that I have found what was missing for years in myself in being a wife and mother.
I forgot that and I often forget that I do make a positive difference in the lives of those around me and that I do matter. I think women tend to forget that we don't have to conquer our lists or the world to be successful and happy and accomplished. That when we just try to be ourselves and to love those around us and we try to share our hearts and kindness and talents that we are changing the worlds of those around us each day. I wish we women knew that and remembered that we do matter and do make a difference and that even and especially the little things are the building blocks to the skyscrapers of our childrens' dreams, our spouses' confidence and support systems, and that we do shift their worlds each day for the better or the worse. That's an incredible thing. It won't put you in Forbes, or Cosmopolitan, or People, Time, or the National Geographic, but it will etch in their hearts and in yours the greatest memories, feelings, and will have lasting consequences. I think of my parents, and of my mother especially, and I know she had so much she could have done as a career woman, but I know that I have always felt loved, I have never felt ignored, and that I have always known that I mattered to her as she stayed home to raise my brothers and myself and that her personal choice to do that made all of the difference to me (I understand that that is not always possible for some families but I speak of my personal experience). I know there were days that she didn't feel important or that she felt overwhelmed and insignificant to the world, but she was my world for so long, and I learned to dream and to love from her. I see how she has affected the lives of those around her and how she and my dad have the marriage they do, how she so selflessly helps those around her even when she is out of energy or has had a hard day. She has and continues to make a difference and that to me means so much more than any cure for a disease or animal she could have discovered in the ocean had she followed the career dreams she had as a little girl.
Now, I know that marriage and motherhood may not be everyone's cup of tea and I don't mean to single out those women, I know that we all have the ability to make a difference to those around us and the message of this post is more that we as women do matter, and we do make a difference to those around us and that we don't have to abandon who we are to the world to be significant or to shift the lives of those around us. We make a difference each day to the people around us and I feel it is important to say that. The media never will, even when they talk about feminism (yes, I am a feminist for any reading) but being you as you are and choosing to follow your dreams whether big or small, public or private, that is what matters and never forget that you are a beautiful daughter of the One who created the universe. I know some don't believe in God, but I do, and all I want to say is that I believe that we all matter to Him, that we are His daughters, that He knows each of us by name, our wants, our desires, our dreams, and that He is proud of everything we do even when we don't realize our worth, He is so happy to see us succeed and to grow.
I just want to end this post with a large quote from a talk that President Dieter F. Uchtdorf (to those who are not LDS, he is a counselor to the President of our church) at the Womens General Conference last Sunday called, "Living the Gospel Joyful"
"My dear sisters in the gospel, whether you are 8 or 108, there is one thing that I hope you truly understand and know:
You are loved.
You are dear to your heavenly parents.
The infinite and eternal Creator of light and life knows you! He is mindful of you.
Yes, God loves you this very day and always.
He is not waiting to love you until you have overcome your weaknesses and bad habits. He loves you today with a full understanding of your struggles. He is aware that you reach up to Him in heartfelt and hopeful prayer. He knows of the times you have held onto the fading light and believed—even in the midst of growing darkness. He knows of your sufferings. He knows of your remorse for the times you have fallen short or failed. And still He loves you.
And God knows of your successes; though they may seem small to you, He acknowledges and cherishes each one of them. He loves you for extending yourself to others. He loves you for reaching out and helping others bear their heavy burdens—even when you are struggling with your own.
He knows everything about you. He sees you clearly—He knows you as you really are. And He loves you—today and always!
Do you suppose it matters to our Heavenly Father whether your makeup, clothes, hair, and nails are perfect? Do you think your value to Him changes based on how many followers you have on Instagram or Pinterest? Do you think He wants you to worry or get depressed if some un-friend or un-follow you on Facebook or Twitter? Do you think outward attractiveness, your dress size, or popularity make the slightest difference in your worth to the One who created the universe?
He loves you not only for who you are this very day but also for the person of glory and light you have the potential and the desire to become.
More than you could ever imagine, He wants you to achieve your destiny—to return to your heavenly home in honor.
I testify that the way to accomplish this is to place selfish desires and unworthy ambitions on the altar of sacrifice and service. Sisters, trust in the saving power of Jesus Christ; keep His laws and commandments. In other words—live the gospel joyful.
It is my prayer that you will experience a renewed and an expanded measure of the beautiful love of God in your lives; that you will find the faith, determination, and commitment to learn God’s commandments, treasure them in your hearts, and live the gospel joyful.
I promise that as you do so, you will discover your best self—your realself. You will discover what it truly means to be a daughter of the everlasting God, the Lord of all righteousness. "
I know that this was definitely for me and that it totally made cry when I read it because it voiced so much what I have needed to hear as I have struggled to feel of worth as a woman, as a wife, and as a mother. I hope that any who read this know that they make a difference to those around them and that each of you remember that you are so important and lovely, and wonderful.
Thanks for reading :)
Liz
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