Mama Bird's Landing: Welcome to the World, Baby Finch!

Hello All! I decided I had better write down Finch's birth story while it is still fresh and while I am blessed with company who can hold him while I get a small break.

Here goes:

Ben and I called Madison Memorial at 5:30 on Thursday morning to see when they would like me to come in to be induced. We thought we would have a couple of hours, but they said they wanted me to come in at 6:30 am. After a night of immense realizations that I would always have a child with me from that time on and that Ben and I would never be "just us" again, we were tired, but excited for going to the hospital.
When we got there we checked in, and then we were led to the delivery room (they are huge, btw, at least at our hospital, we had a television, a bathroom, a couch, table, changing table, and a full counter/shelf unit with plenty of room to spare. It felt like a little birthing suite.)

After getting into my gown, meeting our nurse, Jenn, and having her hook me up to the baby monitor and the IV (being induced I would have to have both on at all times once they got started), our doctor came and checked to see if I had made any changes since seeing him a few days earlier, and then broke my water. (Ouch! It was way uncomfortable, but he said I had a very strong amniotic sac...um, thanks? I guess those Target Prenatals really do their job!). He wanted to see if I would start to go into labor on my own from that and we waited about an hour or so. Nothing...so around 10-11, they started the Pitocin drip and we waited, again. Nothing. Apparently the highest dose they will give without special circumstances and a doctor's order is 20 mLs a minute of Pitocin. They kept upping the dose until I was at about 13 mL's before I even started to feel slight cramping. (Let me just say this, I have a very high tolerance for pain, and a very stubborn cervix). Around 12:30 our doctor came back and wanted to see how I was. He told me they wanted me to be hurting and I wasn't so they'd keep upping the dose and see what we would need to do.

Ben and I watched some movies, and I had a friend come and keep me company while Ben ran some errands. Still nothing but light cramping that felt kind of like a joyful monthly gift from Mother Nature. After Ben got back I was a little uncomfortable, but still felt like I was around a 4-5 on the pain scale and our nurse said she'd check my cervix around 5. Once 5 came around, she checked and I was maybe at 2 cm dilated and they were at the point that I was at 19 mL of Pitocin and my contractions were getting close together. I was pretty frustrated. I was waiting to see how long I could go without an epidural, and thought that I would need to wait until I was at 6 cm before I could get it and wondered if that would ever happen. They put on an internal uterine monitor so they could properly measure my contractions, and upped my pitocin to the maximum dose. Dr. Watson came in and told us that he was concerned that while I was contracting, they may not have been strong enough to induce labor and that my cervix wasn't responding. Then the possibility of a c-section was brought up. Thank goodness he was planning on doing EVERYTHING possible to prevent that from happening if he could help it. He then told me that I could get an epidural whenever I wanted and that I didn't need to suffer through the pain if it was going to take a long time and if I was waiting for a certain landmark I didn't need to, that it was fully up to me. If I could have hugged him, I would have.

I waited a little while, but finally started to get contractions that were strong enough that I felt like I was at a 7-8 on the pain scale and they were coming close enough together (2ish minutes apart or less) that I was happy to say I had tried and decided I was good with leaving the pain behind. That's where the story gets fun...I signed the paperwork and was getting ready for the epidural when I found out that both anesthesiologists were in emergency surgeries and would be unavailable for about 1-2 hours. Okay. I thought I could possibly get through that. I was started to feel the contractions very strongly though and was passing the point I had wanted on the pain scale. 8. The contractions were getting relentless now, and were so strong and so close together that I could hardly manage the pain and hearing that I'd have to wait made it very daunting. I tried to smile through and keep up the friendly chatter and we put on The Hobbit to keep me distracted. It totally failed. Sorry, Orlando Bloom, you weren't enough to occupy my thoughts. After about 2-3 hours, one of the doctors was free and he came to give me the epidural. I was thrilled. I was hardly hanging on to sanity as the pain crept up to a 9 almost ten and was wearing down fast. Especially since I was in back labor. I forgot to mention that tidbit. I was also hooked to the IV and was being asked to lay down because my blood pressure was really high (gotta love Preeclampsia) and it was only manageable when I was laying down. Laying down and being unable to move with back labor sucks. Like, a lot.

Once the doc found out I was preeclamptic he got really concerned and asked if they had run the necessary blood tests. I got to learn then and there that preeclampsia can affect my clotting factors and platelets and that I could get an epidural hematoma and have permanent nerve damage if I didn't do the tests. So then they went to get a lab tech and I laid back down resigned to the pain. It took about 45 minutes for the tech to come and I had finally decided to get IV meds to help shave some pain off while we waited and that was completely against my birth plan but I was hurting so bad I couldn't even breathe and the contractions were getting too close together to even get a break between.

It was around this time that I also got a priesthood blessing from Ben. I was so overwhelmed with the pain that I couldn't really function and would just resign myself to the pain every time I had a contraction. I felt paralyzed and truly feel so grateful to have the husband I had who supported me so well through it all. After he gave me the blessing, I had new perspective and strength and I think that was the only reason I could wait as long as I did for the epidural.

The tech finally came and sent down the blood. Then another came about 20 minutes later, and did the lancet clotting test. I got another dose of Fentanyl and thanked the Lord that I was drugged enough to stand outside of my body to handle the pain. I hate the drugged up/high feeling and was trying to avoid it but it was a help at that moment. Then they finally sent in another doctor to do the epidural. He was about to do it when we found out they had forgotten about one more test I needed. I was in too much pain to even manage a response and the nurses were practically crying for me. Finally they got another guy to come and do the test and the anesthesiologist (who was fantastic) prepped me and waited with his cell by him to get the results. Fifteen minutes later, I got the results that I was okay and we proceeded with the epidural. Let me just say: When you are having contractions a minute apart, it really sucks trying to sit still and upright without moving. He was a champion and so fast and as the epidural took effect, I began to relax and probably would have married the guy if he and I weren't already happily married to other people. After 4 almost 5 hours of intense labor, I finally got my epidural and went from a pain level of 10 to nothing and boy, I felt so much better. Friends visited for a few minutes and the nurse checked to see my progress. I was at 4 cm by 10:30 that night and was exhausted, but so much happier. I was exhausted and my mom and Ben were too. At one point they were both almost in tears watching me silently cry and close my eyes with each contraction. We all fell asleep and at 12:30 am, my nurse woke me up to check my progress and told me I had gone from a 4 to a 10 in two hours!!!!!

Yes!! I felt so blessed that I had been able to get an epidural because I know my body had been working against itself trying to deal with the pain and as soon as I was able to rest I was able to make the progress my body needed for Finch to come. Our nurse told me I could do some practice pushes or wait to see if I would get the urge to push and I tried to doze a little while I waited. I never got the urge to push and my mother was the same way, so we decided to start around 1:30-2:30 in the morning. It wasn't too bad. With the epidural, I was so much more rested and ended up just chatting away between pushes and enjoying the visit I was having with our nurse.

After a while we realized that Finch wasn't moving further down the birth canal anymore, and called our doctor to come in. Finch btw, this entire time was a champion. His heart rate was perfect all day and even though I was in distress at parts, he was so blessed to be strong and healthy and miraculously unfazed by what was happening.

Our doctor came in and we began the process of serious pushing. I had given permission to use the vacuum assistance prior and we began to try to get my stubborn boy out of me. It took a lot of work, and he wasn't moving much, but with a lot of teamwork, we began to make progress and finally after about 2 and a half hours of pushing altogether Finch was born at 4:32 am.

He bit our doctor's finger when he was coming out and wasn't happy to be out of me, but after a small epiosotomy and lots of stretching (praise the Lord for epidurals, I only felt the pressure instead of the pain), he was out and I had a 2nd degree tear but was doing well.

I was overwhelmed with surprise that he was actually out and began to talk to him as they cleaned him off on my chest. He was so big to me, and it was so unreal to realize he was there in front of me, in the flesh. He was beautiful and hardly cried. They took him away for a minute because his breathing was a little off, but after a little suctioning and some stimulation he did better.

He weighed 6 pounds and 15 ounces and measured 22 inches long and even had a tiny little bit of hair for me to see and they wrapped him up and I got to snuggle him. I was so grateful he was as small as he was. Our doctor said if he had been very much bigger I wouldn't have been able to deliver vaginally and would have had to go in for a c-section. So many blessings that he was small enough and that I was induced early enough that things worked out. We found out later that many were praying for us that we wouldn't have to do a cesearean and their prayers (and ours) were truly answered.

At every turn we were so blessed and our doctor was so so helpful and good, and our nurses were angels for us. I truly know that we were given special people to assist us, and I look back and marvel at the many miracles we had every step of the way.

After 20 hours of labor, I was exhausted, but we were so in love already with Finch. I still can't get over the immense love that just washed over me. I had the hardest time not holding him every second and when I am away from him I miss him like crazy.

He had a couple of bumps with the vacuum hematoma he got, and has a little jaundice that we have had to keep an eye on (he gets a lot of sunbaths these days) and is still adjusting with me to the breastfeeding, but everytime we have a little obstacle, the Lord blesses us to overcome it. I feel that perhaps he is still adjusting to having the little body he has, and that with lots of love and encouragement he will continue to blossom. He is truly a joy to be around, and I miss him even when I am next to him if I'm not holding him, and he instantly calms as soon as I am holding him or laying next to him. We truly have such a sweet bond and he brings such happiness to me and to Ben. And seeing Ben with him brings me lots of warm fuzzies. He is an incredible dad and has just blossomed with fatherhood :)

I love this little boy more than words, and he is so so good. So sweet, so quiet, and incredibly strong and resilient. He is incredible and I thank the Lord every time I look at him knowing that I get to the be the lucky mama that takes care of him.

We are tired and we will be for a long time, but I know I would go through it over and over again if I could just to have him here. We truly had angels on every side of all of the situations we encountered and I am healing well and feeling so good. We have our little bumps with getting a routine and getting used to each other, but I am so in love with my son, and Ben and I can't get over how wonderful it is to have him here with us. He is our sweet little miracle baby after so many struggles and prayers to make him a possibility and then a reality and I am so grateful to know he is our son and will be with us for eternity :)

Thank you all for your prayers, thoughts, and best wishes to us. We were never alone and feel so loved and just want you all to know it means so much to us to see your messages of love and encouragement. We love being parents and we love our son more than words can even begin to describe. As I sit next to his crib after five hours of Enya playing because that is what keeps Finch asleep in his crib at night because I listened to her when I was pregnant, I can't help but feel so blessed (and a little tired) but so blessed.

There will be plenty of updates and I refuse to apologize for the surge of photos that are on your news feeds online or the hashtags on my instagram account. Deal with it, I have a cute baby and am totally in love with him and it will only get worse ;)