Today has been a really sweet
Sunday. Ben and I are still trying to get over our flu crisis and are pretty
much done, now we just deal with the fatigue. We were literally dragging today
as we got ready for church (thank goodness we have 1pm church, that is truly a
mercy for us these days), and yet we still managed to get to church on time for
the sacrament. Well I did, Ben was parking the car and missed it by about 45
seconds. It was still a great Sunday.
We spend a lot of our Sacrament
Meetings in the foyer since it is just too hard for me to sit still without
having to use the bathroom, walk around, or move around for an hour, plus the
couches are a lot more pregnant girl friendly than pews or fold out chairs.
Today we met a really nice new young couple in the ward, and we also saw so
many children, little kids, and their tired parents walking around, trying to
be quiet, and trying to stay happy. I know it can be stressful for some people
to be around that environment, but I can’t help but feel like I felt more of
the Spirit in watching these little spirits in church than really listening to
the talks given, (although there were some really great messages shared by the
speakers from what I could hear). I loved watching the little children. They
truly demonstrate the pure love of Christ, and even though they aren’t paying
attention the way I am sure their parents would prefer, I can’t help but wonder
what they are thinking about, and what their spirits are really feeling.
Little children always seem to be
so much closer to the spirit than we give them credit for, and as I watched the
parents who were pacing around the building once again, and trying to
get their children to whisper, or not eat the cheerio they found on the ground,
etc. I can’t help but feel that the Lord is smiling down on each of them, and
that the Savior would probably be close by, helping the children to feel the
love He has for them and encouraging those tired and stressed parents in what a
service they were really doing. Each of those parents I watched have probably
not had a full church lesson in the past five to ten years, and yet, I know
they are serving their little ones the way our parents have served each of us,
but also, as our Heavenly Father probably did for us as our spirits matured and
grew in the premortal existence. There are probably times that He patiently
leads us or loves us when we are just not quite mature enough to understand a
certain spiritual principle or why something is going on in our lives.
So many of those children were
squirmy, crying, babbling away, saying obvious embarrassing truths of the
people around them, etc. and I know that we each do the same thing in our own
way in the greater picture, and it is our loving Father in Heaven who helps us
to refocus on the principles of the gospel, or else lovingly leads, whispers,
encourages, or redirects us to the things that will help us to grow and learn.
That is one of the greatest things
I have learned today. Our Heavenly Father is so aware of us and loves each of
us so deeply and knows how to help us to grow in our own ways. I know that what
may help me may not always work for Ben, and what reaches the brother or sister
two aisles over may not be the same thing for the older couple two seats away.
But He knows how to reach us, and the best ways for us to grow closer to Him,
and He never rushes us. Some days we are the child that is crying and screaming
and is carried out of the chapel, and other days we are the child who is
reverently pointing at scripture stories. I just know that I saw that the
service the parents I saw today rendered to their children is more significant
than we ever realize, and I commend each of them for what they do because they
do what our Father does each day for us. Being parents, is the best way for us
to truly understand and become more like our Heavenly Father. Isn’t that such a
neat gift?
I learned so much from watching
that today, and I will probably carry that lesson with me a little more so than
I even realize now. As we approach Finch’s due date and as we get closer and
closer to his being an ever present member of our family and our daily lives, I
can’t help but be honored that the Lord has given Ben and I this opportunity to
be the parents He knows we can be. That we now get the chance to learn how to
be more Christlike and to be more like our Heavenly Father. It is exciting and
very humbling. I have many many days where I feel so inadequate in being a
mother soon and I worry that my child will often pay for my inadequacies and my
imperfections, but I also will try to remember that I am doing all I can, and
that I will sometimes be that parent who has no idea what to do apart from pace
the church halls during Sunday School, trying to sooth my little boy, missing a
lesson, but gaining experience and time that I will always cherish later on. It
truly is a gift and one that I hope I will always cherish and try to remember,
especially in those late night and early morning hours when all I long for is
sleep. I know I will need to be reminded when I feel like I have nothing left
to give, and that the Lord will lovingly whisper the encouragement I need to
keep going and when I am the child who is crying because I am so tired I can’t
sleep or relax, and then I will be able to go back into the hubbub of
motherhood and wifehood and keep going J
Happy Sabbath to everyone. I hope that you too have
found something you were missing or needed like I did today J.
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