Listening to the Spirit

Boy, let me tell you, it's been a busy few weeks. Ben just started back up with school and work at the tutoring center on campus, and I have been enjoying going to the bathroom more often (darn baby keeps kicking his mama's bladder) and remembering not to burn my tummy while I cook because it sticks out further than it used to (two problems I am totally okay with having).

Also, I am finding that I am loving my baby Finch more and more every day. I even kiss his little ultrasound picture on my phone now too. I can't wait to give him kisses and snuggle him in close. Working on the baby registries and watching baby prep videos for Ben has just been making my heart get all warm and fuzzy whenever I think of my little man. Also, now we can see him moving through my tummy (Alien references to come) and Ben can regularly feel his kicks when he touches the bump. It's kind of wonderful really, it's like Finch knows when his daddy is trying to be near him because he almost always kicks as soon as Ben puts his hand on my tummy and leaves it there for a minute. Also, Finch has quite the personality, for those who say that babies aren't capable of emotion or personality before they have been alive outside the womb for a while are sorely mistaken. Everytime Ben and I are at church, at the temple, listening to church music, reading scriptures, or when I am getting a priesthood blessing, he responds with kicks or squirming. Especially songs about the Savior, he always seems to move around a lot when I sing any hymns or primary songs about Him or when we sing them in church. It's very sweet and it makes me want to be a better mama for him where I can always have the spirit with me to also be with my little Finch as well. He also always kicks me when I am sad or concerned or worried. If I watch a movie and I feel stressed, or if I read an article about some extreme pregnancy symptom and condition and start to really get anxious I get this quiet little kick that seems to say, "Don't worry Mama, I'm still here and I'm not going anywhere." I love that, and I love that little bug more and more every day.

Pregnancy wise I am doing really well. I took my glucose tolerance test last week and failed by nine points, and then I had to go in again on Saturday to take it again but for a longer amount of time and passed. (Thank goodness, I was afraid of having a huge 13 pound Finch). I'm not a big fan of the test though. I will never drink fruit punch ever again. They give you a drink that is as sweet as the condensed syrup used to make fountain drinks pre-club soda being added. Nasty and nauseating all at the same time. Then they draw your blood, and I am definitely not afraid of needles or getting my blood drawn but because I have tiny deep veins, they had to use the same arm and site over and over and by the end of the day I could hardly handle the pain and my vein was about to collapse and wouldn't heal as quickly. Not fun. Since finding out I don't have gestational diabetes, I celebrated with some dark chocolate and I am very happy now. Bump wise, I still don't look like I'm that far along. Having a long torso, I have a lot more room for Finch to hide in so I don't poke out very much yet (my belly button has yet to pop out too) so when I wear certain colors or black people don't believe me when I say that I am due in a couple of months until I turn to the side and have a bump. It's fun, but definitely something I've had to pay attention to, so if you see me, yes I am due soon, no I am not mistaken on the due date, and yes, it is still uncomfortable and I still feel very pregnant. Kicks come all of the time and I love it. Best feeling ever having constant little kicks to remind me he is there and doing well. I felt them a lot higher up today so I am beginning to prepare for the possible rib kicks I hear of, yesterday I felt a cramp under my rib so I am wondering if it has already begun. I have a lot of baby karma coming my way since apparently I loved being under my mom's ribs and would kick her incessantly, hopefully Finch is kind, although I would rather deal with the kicks than the alternative ;)

This is me at 26-27ish weeks, it's hard to think I've got 13-14 left...

Which brings me to the reason for the title for this blog entry: Listening to the Spirit. This last weekend was filled with tender mercies and I am so grateful we listened to the promptings felt from the Spirit. It started off with me not being able to work out at the school gym because my maternity pants did not flair at the bottom. Kind of a lame rule, but the girl at the desk was adamant that I could not enter the gym so I walked around outside until I was too chilly and came back inside, feeling twinges of pain and discomfort, but thinking it was because I am terribly out of shape. Then Saturday I began to feel really achy and sore and feeling mild cramping along my stomach and abdomen with back pain. I thought it was most likely growing and stretching pains and some braxton-hicks contractions since I have had a few of those already and they are perfectly normal. Then came yesterday when I felt very uncomfortable and couldn't even go to church because I was getting contractions when I was standing and they would only go away as I rested (not super bad or timeable contractions, but mild yet painful enough to not be mild contractions), I was feeling like I had to pee every minute without any output, and so sore I could hardly move. I stayed in bed, got a blessing and hoped for the best, thinking that if this didn't go away within a few days I'd maybe call a doctor and ask, after all, I had just seen them the other day. Then I woke up this morning and I got the same pain and it felt worse and wasn't going away as I rested. Now I was paying HUGE attention to the symptoms, called Ben at school and asked if we should go in. We both decided yes, and I called the doc to know if we should come in, they were great and said, "If you are worried, then we are worried, please come in and see us". When we got there my blood pressure was up, my weight was down, and I was hurting more than ever. Luckily, our doctor was really great and listened to my symptoms, checked on Finch's heart beat (strong and very loud!) and asked me to do a urine test because he said I had irritability contractions that are a result of something around the uterus causing stress on the uterus triggering contractions. Results came back with a pretty hefty UTI (my first ever, and definitely not a mild one either, yay me...) that was getting pretty bad, and I was prescribed meds and told to go home and keep off my feet. We felt a huge relief, you don't usually think getting an infection is a good thing, but it was music to our terrified ears. Had we not checked on this for a while it could have led to a serious kidney infection making me very sick, but it could also have led to premature labor, harming Finch who would be so small if he were born now. HUGE BLESSINGS TODAY!! It runs in my family that we don't usually show the typical standard symptoms for infections until they are very severe so when we finally feel that something isn't right, it's been wrong for a while and is a big concern. We are all like this and it is not very fun or safe. (My mom had a nearly burst appendix before she even started to show symptoms that could be associated with appendicitis a few years ago. She didn't have a fever, and was mainly tired. Not typical, and we were lucky she got in in time to stop the infection from nearly killing her.) So I don't know how long this has been going on, but if I had waited a few days like I thought I could handle, I may not have gotten the care needed in time to prevent an early labor or major issues for my Finch or myself.

I just keep taking in deep breaths and saying silent prayers of gratitude for my son, and for our health at this time. For it being a simple issue to fix now, and for the blessing of us catching it in time for it to be a simple fix rather than waiting a couple of days to a week and allowing the contractions to go from erratic to consistent to labor. I encourage all of you to avoid being as stubborn as I almost allowed myself to be. Thank goodness the Spirit softened my heart enough to prompt me to not let this go even though I had just seen the doctor the other day, and to make sure I was diligent in finding out what was wrong. I am so grateful I didn't work out last week when the symptoms started because activity was making my pain worse and it could have been worse than it already has been. Thank goodness for priesthood blessings, the prayers of loved ones, and the gift of the Holy Ghost and revelation. I am so grateful, and we are so blessed. I just started taking the antibiotics and will be down for a few days to allow my body to rest, but I feel so much more peace knowing that the Lord has watched over us and knows our needs at all times. Please, don't be silly like me (and by silly I am nicely saying STUPID) and be too nervous to talk to someone or tune in to the spirit when something doesn't feel right. Looking back, I have felt like something has been wrong for a week and a half with lots of worries and in hindsight I now know why. Never be too afraid to act on a prompting and trust that the Lord will always bless you with the right people and the right circumstances to accomplish what He asks you to do. Every person we encountered was an earth angel today and Ben and I are so grateful.

I will probably rub my tummy and have Ben give it a kiss for Finch before bed and try to cradle him a little closer (well as physically closer as is possible at this point) as I say prayers of thanks for a Heavenly Father who knows and loves us so much tonight, thanking him for my health and for the health of my sweet baby boy. I couldn't ask for more, thank goodness the Lord is so wise because I know I am far from wise a lot of the time.

May God bless, and may you have a great day. Cheers! *drinks cranberry juice*

Love, Liz, Ben, Zola, and Baby Finch :)

Tender Mercies...

Hello Folks,

This isn't going to be a very long blog, but I can't help but feel that I need to share how blessed Ben and I have been this week. We have been struggling to find a way to pay our bills and rent because they were all coming at the end of the month and at the same time, and we only really had one pay check to get through the first of the month after moving, and then another right when everything was due. It was stressful, but we have truly been blessed. We have also been trying to get Medicaid coverage with the state of Idaho for my pregnancy and for our son. It's been a worry in the back of my  mind as my residual coverage from California came to a close right at the end of the year. I'm not superstitious, but I don't feel very comfortable going uncovered especially when it isn't my life alone that would pay if something happened and we had a medical emergency.
For those who are reading this who are unfamiliar with the LDS church: we are asked to pay 10% of our gross income back to the Lord and it goes to help build the church, helping with building church buildings, school buildings, funding local aid to those who need it, and helping those who are less fortunate. We believe that God gives us everything and only asks 10% of what we make to give back to Him to help Him with helping His children. I know that some may not understand or really want to do that, but we believe that we are blessed even more for being willing to give back that 10% and that many times we are blessed financially and temporally with what we need when we do so. I have always been very happy to pay tithing and it has never been an issue for me. There have been times since getting married though when it was literally, we have this bill and this is the tithing we need/want to pay and they are so similar it has to be one or the other at this time. There are moments when it isn't easy and when it is very stressful. However, every time we have put God first, we have had miracles that I can't even explain come to us, whether it was Financial Aid being processed and distributed in a week rather than the normal month or two, or whether we made just enough to pay rent, utilities, and groceries. The Lord has always taken care of us, and He has always helped us to find a way to accomplish our goals when we put Him first. Really, I think that is the principle of tithing though, when we put God first, even over our own desires and needs, He give us what we need and more for being willing to sacrifice to help others in need and to help Him. I'm very grateful for what I learn everytime I pay my tithing,and I am grateful for the testimony I have had from such experiences.
This month we faced our tithing dilemma again, and we decided we couldn't afford not to pay our tithing. Today, we paid our rent, our utilities and got groceries with money to spare. We were able to renew our car insurance on the 2nd of January without any delay in coverage, and we were also able to get Pregnancy coverage for Finch and I in one day rather than wait weeks for the possibility of being considered eligible. We have a doctor who didn't charge us for our visit but put it under "pending coverage" so we could see our physician right away. The list of blessings and fortunes in our favor go on and on. Ben has been sick, but I have been healthy albeit tired instead of getting sick since I could have real problems if I got sick being pregnant. My family is blessed with so much, and we have been helped in ways I can't explain except to say, we have someone watching out for us and taking care of us.
Tender mercies have been extended to us over and over and I just didn't feel right not sharing how blessed we have been because we have truly been given miracles. I hope that this brings hope to someone who reads this and is struggling to know that everything will be alright, and that you are loved, and cared about, and that God understands and knows your needs. I realize that not everyone who reads this blog may be religious or believe in God, and I do not judge in any way your beliefs, but I hope you know you have as support system of those who care about you and care for you and that that gives you hope and reason in times of trouble. I believe that God is always on our side, and that He is always watching out for me and my little family. We may not have much, but we have great great love from Him and I can sleep at night knowing that I am never alone with Him. Whether you believe in God, Karma, the universe being kind when you are kind, or however you decide to phrase it, I hope you know that good things are always out there for you and good people are always there to help you. We have had many angels in our lives, those I never would have thought of who reach out to me and Ben all the time, times when I needed a hug or a note of encouragement, and to those who are those angels, thank you for your help, for you kindness, and for you're listening to the promptings given to you to reach out. They make a difference everyday to us, and we never forget.
My only wish is that I can be that person to someone in need, and to be able to pass along the Christlike love of service to someone who is searching for help, love, encouragement, or a tender mercy. To feel this way, and to feel such security in the blessings of God is such a peaceful feeling, and one that I could definitely get used to and hope to share when I can.

So there's my little spiritual thought, thanks for reading :)